Emotional Intelligence (EI) is not a quickly passing craze that will pass by the end of the year. It’s a field of study backed by years of academic research in the field of neurosciences, behavioral sciences and yes, the business side of it all. As research has proved EI skills to have a direct impact on leadership, sales, teamwork, customer service, well everything almost that includes humans.
As the way we make decisions, how we form opinions of ourselves and others, then how we build relationships and identify opportunities are all in fact the result of our emotions. Yes, we very often think we lead our lives through “rational thought” but as research has discovered it isn´t the case at all. Whatever day of the week we decide to put under the magnifying glass, the range of emotions — both positive and negative — that we experience affects our train of thought. The feelings we experience alters the way we experience the world around us and how we see ourselves in it.
Negative emotions such as anger, hate, frustration and discouragement go such a long way upsetting us and making us question everything we´re doing. When positive emotions like love, joy, peace all add meaning to our days. These emotions help us see our lives in positive light and give as an overall sense of well being.
Prior to Daniel Goleman’s research around Emotional Intelligence, Dr. Peter Salovey, David Caruso and John Mayer first defined emotional intelligence as the ability to:
“Recognize, understand and manage our own emotions. Recognize, understand, and influence the emotions of others. In practical terms, this means being aware that emotions can drive our behavior and impact people (positively and negatively) and learning how to manage those emotions — both our own and others — especially when we are under pressure.”
The underlying verifiable truth is the fact that emotions do indeed drive our behaviour. Our mood, our innovativeness, our self-esteem and how we relate to the people around us are all a result of our individual Emotional Intelligence. All these scientific findings should be put into action. We should all be putting these tools into use for our own benefit and for the benefit of our well being.
We have all of this information at our fingertips, but how should we implement them into our own careers? And learn to drive positive, productive behaviour to achieve the results we want, and apply these finding to our overall well being that can help us feel overall fulfilled in our lives? Having kept this in mind Daniel Goleman has defined five core segments of EI:
- Social Skills
Our mission at Coaching with Helinä Mellanen is to help others put the theory of Emotional Intelligence into action, no matter what stage you are at in your life or career, as we have experienced the positive and transformative effects in our own and the lives of the people we coach, speak to and work with. The only person who can initiate change for the better is every individual or organization collectively understanding the magnitude of all involved.
For a long time in my career, I had no idea how everything in the corporate world was so tightly knit with emotional intelligence and I almost broke my back trying. I got the promotions I thought I wanted and received the responsibilities I craved. Yet, the emotional culture of the organisations I worked at was so crippled that it was starting to affect my personal relationships with the people I loved. I lacked the realization of my own almost constant negative feelings toward work and that the answers wouldn`t come to be by waiting for others to change but through turning inward and understanding myself.
My negative feelings became my own reality and I was the source of negativity for the people around me for some time, until I realized I needed to do the work and become self-aware of what drives me And how my self-regulation skills needed a boost to take me where I wanted to go.
After studying emotional intelligence theories in and out I started incorporating it in my daily life as a parent, as a partner and finally as an entrepreneur to my advantage. I finally had found clarity, efficiency, and the passion I had lacked for some time.
You too have the power of Emotional Intelligence in your hands. It’s not passing craze. You can become more self-aware, adaptable, empathetic, positive and a leader in all areas of your life if you so decide. The results are feeling more fulfilled, self-confident and self-assured and these are just learnable skills in the end.